This piece is part of our PANpov series — firsthand stories from employees about personal experiences. Read more.
I’m excited to share my personal experience with therapy and the positive impact on my mental health. I should preface by saying I am not a therapist (anyone reading this is saying “duh” out loud). And I am most certainly not here to tell anyone what to do. What I am here to share is how therapy changed my life for the better in a dramatic way. I am extremely grateful for the experience, even if my friends may be sick of hearing “my therapist says…”
Just before 2020, I finally I took the plunge on finding a therapist. I had no idea at the time that this was truly fantastic timing given a global pandemic was about to hit and being social was my entire personality.
My goal? Simply be better. Be more aware of my own emotions and, candidly, learn how to focus on myself. My struggle was self-care, and I was never particularly good at finding things for myself. I bet many of my overachieving agency friends can relate.
I started therapy to be healthier, not to fix a particular problem or deal with a specific issue. I recognize this is different for everyone, but what I have found is therapy before I “needed it” created a strong foundation when problems arose. And I think we can all agree, problems will happen. Therapy has helped me (and is still helping me) to build a tool kit to tap into during tough times – dealing with loss, major life changes, stressful work seasons. It allows for a new level of confidence in tackling what life brings.
One piece of unsolicited advice I will share is that PsychologyToday can be an incredible resource in finding a therapist. It offers the ability to sort by area, insurance, and therapy type. You can view biographies and specifics such as focus areas, from both a patient and treatment perspective for most therapists listed. Identifying the right match isn’t easy, and it may take a couple of tries, but I believe “when you know, you know” may be even more true about a therapist than a significant other. I also believe you sometimes need to change therapists to switch things up or for different seasons of life, whether needing a fresh perspective or, in my case, a move.
My last therapist was based in Texas and could not treat me outside of that state, even though I was virtual. On my final day, “graduation” as she called it, she recapped our comprehensive work, from breathing exercises and meditation to EMDR sessions. I appreciated the opportunity to reflect on the work we had done together, and it helped change my perspective from feeling pressure to finding someone similar who was perfect for me during that time period – a new therapist with a different approach could be beneficial for me. Sure enough, I adore my therapist now. She has a different style; but it’s what I need right now, and my last therapist was what I needed then. Do you see this relaxed acceptance I have? Brought to you by therapy.
Working in a fast-paced, demanding industry and overall spending most of my life being motivated to succeed, I struggled a bit with therapy. Even now, sometimes I show up as if I have an internal agenda, am hosting a call, or even need to determine what my action items are. I have learned to lean into the fact that therapy is a rare element of my life that isn’t stressful – I don’t have to worry about if I covered everything or what the outcome is for each session. I can just talk and be present in that room – in that moment. It took a bit to not worry if my therapist thinks I’m doing a great job, but I will admit I do pride myself on believing she thinks I’m funny.
My biggest takeaway has been my ability to recognize different emotions in myself and not only work to resolve those with my toolkit, but also be okay to sit in some uncomfortable emotions. I’m feeling stressed? I have to calendar block for a mental health break. I’m feeling sad? Maybe I don’t have to fix it, and I can be okay sitting with and accepting the emotion.
I love to see the gradual de-stigmatization around mental health. As a mentor, I take that seriously. I believe everyone on my dedicated team is aware that I go to therapy and love it. And they’re sometimes subject to me sending them “positive, healing energy” on stressful days, as my last therapist always ended our sessions. I don’t talk about it a lot (she says as she writes a full blog), but I like to create space for people to ask questions or share their thoughts. Hey, if Simone Biles can speak openly about doing therapy before her gold medal win, and many of today’s top athletes have a sports psychologist, there must be something to it.
I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge how this is an example of why it is really special to work for an organization whose values and priorities align with yours. Grandparents have commented years ago “what if your employer found out?” with regard to therapy and here I am, working for an organization that fully supports and encourages everyone to prioritize their mental health.
When we can accept and make space for mental health in both our personal and professional environments, we open ourselves up to so many new possibilities. If anyone is thinking about therapy, or maybe talking themselves out of it, I hope my story can help shine a positive light on all the great things it can help us accomplish. And, if it isn’t already obvious, I am happy to serve as a resource if you are considering starting therapy but are not sure where to begin.
